Deep Questions for Spiritual Direction: What to Ask & What to Expect
The Heart of Christian Spiritual Guidance: Responses, Not Just Answers
A few years ago, I sat across from my spiritual director, feeling like I had more questions than faith. I was wrestling with a season of silence from God, desperate for answers. I laid out my frustrations, hoping for direction, some kind of clarity. Instead, my director simply asked, "What do you sense God is inviting you to notice?"
I wanted an answer, but she gave me something better- a response. That moment taught me a key distinction in Christian spiritual guidance: answers and responses are not the same. Answers provide resolution, but responses open a doorway to deeper intimacy with God. The most effective spiritual listening doesn’t hand you solutions; it deepens the question, guiding you toward what you truly need God to reveal.
When stepping into a spiritual direction session, many people wonder: What should I ask? What will my director ask me? At its core, spiritual direction is about listening- to God, to yourself, and to the movement of the Spirit in your life. But good spiritual direction questions can open doors, creating space for deeper awareness and transformation.
The Sacred Space a Spiritual Director Creates for Christian Spiritual Guidance
A spiritual direction session isn’t a place for rushed answers, quick fixes, or even advice-giving. Instead, it’s a space marked by:
Stillness: A director holds silence with intention, allowing you to notice what rises in your heart before words form. I’ve sat in those silences, feeling the discomfort of my own internal noise, only to have a single, profound thought emerge from the quiet.
Gentle curiosity: There’s no pressure to perform, explain, or justify—just an invitation to explore. It's like being handed a magnifying glass to examine the intricate details of your soul.
A posture of listening: A good director isn’t waiting for their turn to speak but is attuned to both your words and what remains unspoken. I've been amazed at how a skilled director can pick up on the subtle shifts in my tone, the pauses, the unspoken emotions.
A sense of hospitality: Not just physical hospitality (though a cozy chair and warm tea help!), but a soul-deep welcome into the presence of God, where you can be fully yourself. It's the feeling of being seen and accepted, even in your messiness.
Now, let’s get into the spiritual direction questions—both the ones you might bring and the ones a seasoned director might ask.
Tough, Real Spiritual Direction Questions to Bring Into Spiritual Direction
If you’re wondering what spiritual direction questions to ask in a session, here are some that can lead to deep discovery and honest engagement with God:
Where is God in this? (Especially in suffering, silence, or uncertainty.)
What do I really believe about God right now, and how does that shape my choices?
Am I holding onto an idea of God that no longer feels true?
Where do I feel most alive? Most stuck? Most afraid?
What patterns do I see repeating in my faith journey?
What parts of my spiritual life feel like they belong to someone else’s expectations rather than my own experience with God?
Am I resisting something God is inviting me into?
What have I stopped praying about, and why?
Where do I feel the presence of God the least? What does that tell me?
Bringing these spiritual direction questions into spiritual direction allows for raw honesty and deep processing. A good director won’t rush you through answers but will hold space for you to wrestle and reflect. I remember bringing a question about feeling abandoned by God. Instead of telling me why I shouldn't feel that way, my director helped me explore the roots of that feeling, leading me to a deeper understanding of my own vulnerability and God's persistent presence.
Questions a Good Spiritual Director Asks
A skilled director listens more than they speak, but when they do ask spiritual direction questions, they are meant to awaken, not instruct. Here are some spiritual direction questions you might hear in a session:
Questions That Cultivate Awareness:
What stood out to you as you shared that?
What do you notice in your body as you talk about this?
If you imagined God sitting here with us, what would He be doing or saying?
What invitation from God might be present in this moment?
Questions That Create Space for Grief & Processing:
Where have you felt unseen or unheard by God lately?
Is there something you need permission to mourn?
How has your suffering shaped your understanding of God?
What do you wish you could say to God but haven’t?
Questions That Guide Next Steps:
What’s shifting in you as we sit with this?
What grace do you need to receive before you move forward?
How might you carry what you’ve noticed today into your daily life?
What prayer or practice might support what you’re discovering?
A good director never forces an answer. Instead, they create an environment where the Spirit can guide you toward your own revelations through Christian spiritual guidance.
Spiritual Direction Is a Slow Work
Unlike traditional coaching or counseling, spiritual direction isn’t about fixing or advising. It’s about being with—with yourself, your story, and God. The spiritual direction questions asked in Christian spiritual direction aren’t about arriving at quick solutions but about deepening awareness, trust, and transformation over time.
If you’re considering spiritual direction, bring your hardest, most honest spiritual direction questions. Let a director guide you into the mystery, the tension, and ultimately, the presence of God in ways you may not have expected.
Are you longing for a space like this? If you’re looking for a trauma-informed spiritual director who can walk with you through questions of faith, transition, or leadership, I’d love to help. Schedule your discovery call today.